Over the course of the last few days I have been listening to a tape recording of a talk given by a dear friend back in 1984. He was speaking to Young Life leaders about how to talk to high school kids about Jesus. One of the points he was making was that to speak about Jesus, one must experience Jesus first. He noted the story of Peter's denial.
It had to have been a terrible night, alternately cold with the feeling of dread and loneliness and hot with anxiety, pain, and pounding blood. No doubt the night before Jesus' death was an eerie one, a scary one, and a tremendously off-kilter one. I imagine it felt like the calm before the storm, and as the fire crackled outside and Jesus' dear friend Peter warmed his shaking hands by the fire he didn't realize what he was about to do. He denied Jesus without forethought and without hatred or scorn; he just did it because he too was shaking, blood pounding, nerves warping. Nonetheless, the shocking pain of Jesus' face must have scorched him, as though he had touched the flames he stood by. As his friend, in the presence of those who would have him killed, looked over at him and knew his betrayal, I know that Peter must have wilted in shame. His blood ran cold and sweat beaded on his neck, his stomach turned over and he lost his appetite, maybe even his will to live if only for a moment. And then Jesus was killed. He was killed and there was no opportunity left for Peter to clasp his hands and beg forgiveness.
Yet forgiveness came in the form of a question.
"Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?"
"Yes, Lord; you know that I love you."
Then again, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?"
"Yes, Lord; you know that I love you."
Further in, deeper still, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?"
"Lord, you know everything, you know that I love you!"
Then Jesus gave him instructions, entrusting him with his charge, and a warning of what was to come. Finally he said, "Follow me."
Allow me to sum up: Peter treated Jesus like the dirt he never knew and Jesus came back to him with an opportunity to clean things up. Jesus must be the most selfless, gracious man ever to have lived. Not simply because I've heard it in church, but because this is what he does for me. When I have to apologize, when I should be down on my face and groveling he offers me forgiveness in the form of a command. "Follow me" means he has forgotten my issues, my weaknesses, my shame and that I am allowed to be with him. I am in his inner circle, I am one of his good friends.
The obvious question is, why would I want to be in his inner circle? The answer is simple-- he doesn't shut anyone out. It is a theme of our country to accept everyone. Although we argue how best to care for them, it is a common desire to take in the broken and help them heal. Jesus did it!
He befriended and made leaders out of poor fisherman. He loved on and lifted up the slyest of the sly: a tax collector. He touched lepers, which to the culture back then were the equivalent of AIDS patients who don't recycle and torture puppies. He threw off establishment for the sake of the common man, and not because he was a rioter but because he loved people.
Man oh man, if I could be more like him you'd want to be around me all the time. I know this, because whenever Jesus shows up through the heart of one of his people I watch as other people flock to that person. The most wonderful thing about it, though, is that even as I fail to be like him he flocks to me.
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