"Worship is giving God the best that He has given you. Be careful what you do with the best you have. Whenever you get a blessing from God, give it back to Him as a love gift." ~Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
In the recent past a couple good friends of mine have lost babies that were growing in their wombs. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to it, and the grief is sudden, surprising, and deep. It seems it is never "early enough" to lose a baby; one that is part of you is just that: a precious and priceless gift that feels just as much yourself as your heart or lungs. The loss is staggering, I know that much without having ever experienced it myself.
I have been reading about the women of the Bible from Jesus' ancestry, the five mentioned in his lineage are Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba, and Mary. Tamar, Ruth, Bathsheba, and Mary experienced keenly the sacrifice of waiting, longing, and loss. Tamar was unable to conceive with her first husband, barred from bearing children by her second, and finally gave birth to sons by an unlikely third husband, her father-in-law. As sons were a woman's only hope of care in her old age, I know the waiting must have been not only difficult but terrifying. Ruth also lost a husband before bearing any children, and traveled far, destitute, before being blessed with a husband who bore her children. Bathsheba gave birth to her first son and lost him within days. Mary was the mother of Jesus and watched as he was beaten, hung and humiliated on a cross, and drew a breath that would seem to be his last.
Bathsheba and Mary were not asked to watch their sons die, but the LORD would have it. I can only imagine that they, along with my friends, have learned uniquely what it means to give up one's heart to God.
Often I admire people who choose to sacrifice, who make a conscious decision to give up what is dear to them. I admire these women for the sacrifice of their greatest blessing they have made without a choice. I admire them for hanging on with broken hearts.
