27. Casey and Ashley W

Real, patient, raw, unmoving, determined friendships are hard to come by. They are like needles in a giant city sized haystack, and the finding of them is a jubilant and heartwarming feat. It is a feat that takes weeks, and then months, then years and more. Often you do not realize as these diamonds surface, their glitter is lost amid the sparkle of fun and youthfulness that surround them. A pause is required to reminisce and sigh deep in the acknowledgment of their presence.

Josh met Casey and Ashley back in high school, and they all stayed in touch as the boys both went to Appalachian. High school sweethearts, Casey and Ashley had already been married six months when I was whisked away to Greensboro with wide eyes and some semblance of optimism regarding new friendships. The three of them decided we should all get together, and I liked them from the start. Ashley is thoughtful and bright, hard working and compassionate. Casey is rugged and opinionated, brusque and humorous. They are both fiercely loyal and determined to make people feel known and appreciated.

When I first got to know them I was a bit startled by Casey's innumerable stories of hunting, fishing, riding, hiking, and general adventuring. It was part awe and part jealousy-- I hadn't felt the tug of a line or the rumble of hooves in a long time. He seemed to have the somewhat cocky swagger of one who has taken on the elements and done fine for himself, and I figured that his stories would stay his own. Content to enjoy his retellings by the light of waxing candles that burned down long after dinner, I didn't dare ask to be carted along. I didn't have to. When I turned twenty five the two of them asked what I'd like to do for my birthday. With a giddy childlike sigh I intimated my desire to be back on a horse, without lead rope or a carnival in the background. Casey said he'd get on that.

A few months later I was swinging my leg into the saddle for not only a day of riding with Casey and Ashley's friends and acquaintances but trailer light card games and camping to follow. It was one of the most hilarious and memorable days of my adulthood and despite an allergy attack that left me nearly incapacitated I still smile thinking of Casey and Ashley's determination and follow-through to see me enjoy my birthday.

Ashley is the heartbeat of their marriage. Her empathy runs further than skin deep, so when she furrows her brow in concern for you it is reaching all the way to her marrow. She once called me in a frenetic tone of voice asking advice on how to speak truth to a friend. The humility in asking was impressive in itself, but the zeal for her friend was more so. Every time we do dinner together, which usually means they cook for us at our house so Jonathan can fall asleep in his own bed, Ashley comes smiling through the door and immediately asks me what's new. Her eyebrows are raised and eyes flashing, as if daring me not to be genuine in my response. I've long since given up trying to act like everything's just fine, and instead I root around in my brain to come up with all the new, old, exciting, and taxing. She listens intently and then, most graciously, is honest with me as well.

When Jonathan was born Ashley and Casey were determined not to lose our bi-monthly dinner dates. As I felt pretty confined to the house with a new baby's restrictive feeding and sleeping schedule, we started venturing out much less. Our loyal friends were not to be deterred, so they came over for dinner and brought dinner with them-- from baked spaghetti all the way to dessert and wine. When they pitched the idea it was not so much a suggestion as a statement. It was the same one they've been making for the last four years: "We are diving head first into this friendship and into your lives. You can set out the welcome mat or bar the door, but we're coming a knocking either way. By the way, we brought the wine and fresh caught fish."