23. Wayne and Gail C

In CS Lewis' book, The Four Loves, he talks about eros love involving two people looking at each other in wonder and admiration, while friendship love involves two people standing side by side and looking out at a shared vision. This, to me, is a challenge. I want for Josh's and my relationship to not only be a mirror but also to be full of searching adventures and shared vision. I married my best friend, and I don't ever want that to change. I know that this will take constant renewal, a lot of communication, and the sacrifice or setting aside of our individual passions along the way.

There is a couple we have gotten to know at our church and they are joyful beneath their white and grey hairs, they have bright eyes that twinkle in sparkling delight when greeting friends. You can find Wayne standing by the double doors to the sanctuary, passing out programs and gripping his friends' arms in salutation or smiling widely at women and children who know him well and whose shoulders relax in his presence. Gail is usually chatting, her petite frame sort of bopping as she animatedly converses with friends. Neither of them seem to stop smiling; it is almost as though they have lived enough life to know the worthlessness of frowning. Wayne laughs in jubilant recognition every time I see him, and Gail always smiles so wide she goes squinty-eyed and asks how I am. I can't help but smile wide myself, and don't stop until I've long passed them.

Wayne and Gail seem to have a side-by-side operation. I love seeing them together, they stand close to each other and their joy radiates in a magnetic field that pulls other congregants to them. They have owned and operated a business together for years and years, so they know the grit it takes to be married to your co-worker. Gail spends many a day with her ailing mother, and Wayne seems proud of her rather than resentful of her time away. Several years ago Josh and I were having lunch with them and Wayne related how his wife takes care of her mother. His eyebrows went up as he told us how hard Gail works to take care of her mom. It made me want to squeeze my then-fiancé's arm as I watched them prove just how long true love could last, and with it a vision to help others in their sphere.

Wayne and Gail are an attractive couple. They are both strong and graceful even though the years they have shared together are many. Wayne's white hair is full and dashing, Gail's grey curls are soft and flattering. They look sharp in pressed cottons and linens every Sunday and Gail wears a rose colored lipstick that sets off her dark features beautifully. No one ever mentions this however; it seems that the Joy that shines through this staid couple leaves a much more indelible impression than their good looks. Their smiles and warm embraces are what linger, their shared vision for compassion and the sharing of the Love that's theirs.