LAUGH.

It has been an interesting new year.  No, let's be honest if we're going to take the time to sit here: It's been a hard new year. Nonetheless I will spare you the nitty gritty details (if you want to share in my pity party just call and I'll happily oblige) and skip straight to the first lesson of my chain linked illnesses.  The short version, so we're up to speed, is a long flu combined with pregnancy nausea and the mental and physical repercussions therein.

Finally: skipping to the good part.  I have no new wisdom!  Ha! Please laugh here.  I feel that after all the phlegm, too few showers, too much medication, piles of dirty laundry, piles of tears, (Oh sorry, I said I'd spare you the details.) I deserve a bit of sage-like wisdom to impart.  Don't I?  I mean, isn't suffering supposed to be for the good of humanity, so that I can say to you while you are on your sick bed, "Oh dear, I so understand, and soon you will see life the way I do... blah blah blah."

Apparently the sage in me will have to wait.  One thing I have learned is that when you are on your sick bed the LAST thing you will want is my enlightened view of life.  You will probably want me to drop soup on your door, leave before I see your greasy hair, and then text you, "I hope you feel better soon! I am so sorry you are so so sick.  I will be by to pick up your laundry later... will bring it back folded."

What illness and lying around has afforded me is that I have noticed that things are funny.  No, seriously, I was living life at such a fast clean-bathe-feed-eat-drive-discipline-play-clean-bathe-feed-drive-ohforgottoeatisthereajellybeaninthiscartosatisfymyhunger????-discipline-play, etc., etc., etc, -that I missed the funny stuff.  For example, I had to call poison control TWICE in the last two weeks because William can reach anything he wants in the whole house.  First it was stool softeners (sorry, TMI again) and then it was Zicam (a cold remedy).  The lady at poison control laughed at me the second time.  She actually giggled.  Luckily I was too sick and tired to care, so I just kind of laughed too.  She said he could have eaten the whole bottle, it was fine, and no I am not in trouble with child services.  Well, she didn't actually voice that last but I did not get a follow up call or police visit so I am resting easy now.  Apparently it is NORMAL for two-ish-year-olds to pull these stunts.  My astonishment/horror fades into mirth at this news, because after all, we have a whole year of age two ahead of us (and one on the way) so I might as well sit back, eat some more Pirate's Booty*, and enjoy the show.


*Aside note for those of you in or soon to be in the state of pregnancy wherein you must eat at all times to avoid nausea: Pirate's Booty.  It's like flavored air.  I take it to bed with me and have a baggy in my purse for long rides in the car, aka anything exceeding 2 minutes.